Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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