I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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