This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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