so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
