There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
