stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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