Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
well you can't waste a boner
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
