just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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