Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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