Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
