i will never coherently bang her
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
