All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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