Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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