it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
