I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
