Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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