That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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