some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
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He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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