Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
