ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
