and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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