We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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