Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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