i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
