Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
