I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
