Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
