I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize