The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize