Christians are straight up FREAKS
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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