is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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