ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
