How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
