I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
