therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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