He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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