I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
