I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
