is your mom at the bar?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
