apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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