At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
