sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
