if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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