There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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