For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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