It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
