drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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