the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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