Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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