Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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