I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
