Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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