it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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