when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
