none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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